Flower Ceremony to Coincide with Vigil/Passing
The following ceremony occurred spontaneously as part of a vigil I helped facilitate with a hospice patient. I was recently asked to write it out as part of my ongoing studies and I wanted to share it here so that it can be used by anyone who might be looking for a ritual to help mark a person’s progress toward final transition. It has many benefits from engaging family and caregivers to practically beautifying the space in which a person is dying, while symbolically marking phases of dissolution and final passage.
This simple altar, including flowers arranged with the patient’s spouse, became a sacred focal point during a three-day vigil. Following the patient’s passing, the flowers were used in this ritual that brought closure to the experience and peace to the family. The flowers used in the arrangement revealed themselves as the patient’s favorites during the year of visitation and bonding that occurred prior to the beginning of the vigil.
The ceremony leader brings to the place where patient is dying bunches of 3-5+ different types of flowers. Having a variety is important, as each type can represent a different phase of progress toward death. A large, choice flower can be included to mark the final moment of death later in the ceremony.
The ceremony leader should lay out the flowers in an appropriate space where they can be arranged (e.g. the kitchen), clear any wrappings, flower food, etc. A large vase should be filled with water, and clippers made available for trimming stems.
The leader should welcome any family/caregivers who would like to participate, including the dying person if they are conscious/able. The ceremony can also take place near the bedside if inclusion of the dying person feels appropriate and is feasible.
The ceremony leader, in their own words, should explain to the participants that this vessel of water represents the pure soul of the dying person and that each different type of flower represents aspects of the person's soul/body/life experience that will dissolve prior to passage.
With this awareness, each person takes turns placing the flowers into the vase, working together to arrange them in any way that feels pleasing. The leader should remind the participants to practice inward or outward prayer/meditation/gratitude, etc. while doing this. An example can be given such as: "Great Creator of the Universe, we offer thanks for these flowers and for the aspects of NAME's earthly existence which they now represent. May our actions now mirror your creative force as we arrange them and honor the life of our friend/family member/etc."
“Great Creator of the Universe, we offer thanks for these flowers and for the aspects of NAME’s earthly existence which they now represent. May our actions now mirror your creative force as we arrange them and honor the life of our friend/family member/etc.”
6. The completed arrangement should be placed near the bedside of the dying person.
7. As family/caregivers observe progression in the dying person's transition, some of the flowers (perhaps all of a certain type) should be removed from the vase and placed on/around the bed with the dying person (if feasible). As the process progresses, the vase should become more empty, and the bed area should become more beautiful.
8. At the time of final passage, all remaining flowers in the vase should be placed on and around the body alongside other prayers/rituals which may be appropriate and planned.
9. If washing of the body is to be conducted, water from the vase can be ceremonially added to the water that will be used.
10. Participants in the ceremony should be offered the opportunity to take some of the flowers away with them. Other flowers can be used to create smaller arrangements to place around the home. Some should remain with the body as it is taken to final disposition.
11.Anyone who participates should be reminded that even as the flowers continue to show their beauty outside of the vase and after the body has been taken away, so too, the person's soul remains beautiful and present as it makes its forward journey.
12. Participants can be encouraged to keep the flowers in their home, perhaps drying them, and placing them in a special place, as an ongoing reminder of the person who has passed and the role we play in supporting their soul ascension after death.